9 Things to Know to Controlling your Temper – How to Deal with Toddlers

Today's Guest Blog post is from David Zielinski a children's book author.  I recently wrote a children's book on a camping trip called Calms Campers Camping in Cabins during a recent camping trip.  This is more difficult than it looks.  You not only need to write the book but illustrate and format the book too.  Good luck to you on your new book David!  Here is to a fruitful career of book writing!  This post comes in handy for me right now!  I believe my little girl is HIGHLY ACTIVE.  From in the womb, to walking at 10 months, to trying to walk up stairs at 13 months.  Thanks for the list David! 


Taking care of toddlers is like an all – day work out. It can be very tiring and exhausting at the end of the day. And often times, these kids will push your ‘temper’ button. As much as you wanted to stay calm, it seems that they are pushing you to the limit. Don’t worry, you are not alone in that predicament. A lot of parents are still looking for ways on how they can control their temper and how they should deal with ‘highly – active’ toddlers.
Here is a quick list of what you can do. 

1. Count or leave the room for a couple of minutes.

If your toddler did something which triggered your button, control your impulse. Do not throw things, don’t hit your kid, and try your best not to show that you are furious. I suggest that you count from 1 – 10, think happy thoughts, or if possible, leave the area for a minute or two.
If we are furious, we do things which we might regret afterwards. And most of the time, these things can get pretty messy. We don’t want our kids to witness that, do we? So the best thing to do is to get a glass of water and be calm.  


2. Do not yell. 

Yelling will not do any good. You will just scare your kids but they will not understand their mistakes. Perhaps, they won’t do the same things that triggered you to yell. But the logic behind it, they would never really grasp. And that’s not what we want. We want them to know why we got upset. Talk to your kids calmly. Aside from that, make sure that you are at the same level. So if it is necessary to kneel, do so. Explain the consequences of his actions. Make him aware that you are upset, but don’t yell. Plus, make sure that you talk to your kid in private. If you are in a party, make sure that you excuse yourself from the table before you ‘punish’ your toddler.


3. Think ahead and plan.  

On your free time, you might want to list down your concerns about your kids. For example, you usually have a hard time bringing him to malls. Perhaps, he’s always throwing tantrums when around other kids. Think of the best ways on how you can handle it. At least you would be prepared in case of another set of ‘grumpiness’.


4. Get help. 

For those parents who can’t control their temper and have the tendency to physically abuse their kids, it is necessary that you get help. I mean, you wouldn’t want to jeopardize your kids just because you can’t manage your anger, right?
Plus, the tips below might help you on how you can handle your toddler.


5. Establish rules and stick to it. 

If you want to discipline your toddler, you must have set of rules. If he needs to take a nap after lunch, make him do it. Don’t listen to his excuses or he’d figure out that he can control you.


6. Make a kid – friendly home. 

Toddlers are naturally curious. They would want to try out a lot of things. Allow them to do that. If they want to pour their own drinks, assist them. It would help if you assemble a space in your home for his recreation. Say, place a small table beside your couch and fill it with coloring books and building blocks.  
7. Don’t force your kids to behave instantly.

Forcing isn’t a good idea. If you want to teach your toddler good manners, it will take time. Just be consistent in training him.  


8. Compliment as necessary. 

If your toddler did something good, compliment him. But don’t overdo it. Too much praises may not have a good effect on your kid as well.


9. Avoid negative remarks. 

Even if you are so upset, make sure that you will not give negative remarks or names. Some parents would call their kids a ‘headache’, a brat, or even a monster kid. Believe me, they can understand that and the consequences might come out few years after.
I hope the tips above will be able to help you.  If you think this is a great read, share this to your friends as well.


David Zielinski is a creative writer who just published his first Childrens picture book  about the Misadventures of Fink the Mink, a story picture book series written to teach children better playground etiquette and social skills.